The way I am.

I always believed that you need to just try. Even if you don't have that 'thing', you have to try and at least find that 'thing' in life.

Life is about getting the best out of yourself. But having said that, I HATE running, working out, waking up at 5am.. and everything else that is painful. I hate suffering. But over the course of my life, I've learned to shut myself down, and just do it.. I've became comfortable being uncomfortable. When you put yourself in that situation, your mind is forced to think. I think existentialism philosophy came from that same concept - when you constantly visit the darkness, your mind changes.. it forces you to become authentic.

I'm actually lucky because I was put in a situation where I was basically forced to live this way. With racism and abuse, it was pretty easy for me to hide away and just face my demons. But the truth is, I've never 'really' tried. And now, I understand life. I'm mature. There's no wasting time. Now I know.

Peace